People who give out minimal amonts of change (Horrible Title, I know)

This something that I really need to address because I don't know if it's just me who feels this way. Most of the time, in any situation, it's usually only me who finds something funny. But I wanna run this by everybody. Okay, so here it is: You're on the road with your dad, maybe going to New Jersey (I don't know why), or Cooper's Town (or is it Coopers Town?). Either way, he sends you into a store to pick up some gum and maybe a pack of smokes (even though your only 8...). So you end up with a laundry list of ten items and he gives you a five dollar bill, and asks for change. And you're like, I don't even have enough for half those things. Of course you probably run out of the store while paying and he gives you one of those grunts/looks, perhaps he thinks you're pocketing the change, and gives one dollar more. I literally have done this four times until I could buy a buttered roll, some water, and a doritos. But the worst is when that five is enough and you come back to the car and your dad, or whoever, has the face that says, "I told ya."

Cool things to learn/pick-up/do right away during the summer

Alright, its been a while since I last posted because school's been nuts. Really, school has got to calm down and get over itself. But I figure I should start writing in my blog again because people actually say they read it, and what better time to start than finals week? Scratch that. I'm writing now because I'm desperately looking forward to this summer because something tells me that my first summer being in college is gonna be great. But I can't squander it by not doing anything, so Iv'e compiled a list of 5 cool things to learn/pick-up/do right away during the summer months so I can say that I did something with my summer.

5. Get a great Bob Dylan impersonation
Granted, impersonating Bob Dylan won't get you laid, but its a neat trick. Actually, if you do get laid doing this impression than you're not doing a good enough impression. But seriously, this would be a great thing to accomplish. Of course, I'm gonna have to learn all the words to some songs, and his lyrics can drag on. As another note, go by the name Robert Zimmerman and see if your friends catch on. If they don't know who that is and they just think you're a Jewish man with a crazy voice, then they're already half-way there.

4. Enter a vegetative state
School has been really hard. I pray for those days in high school when a tough week was two tests and maybe a quiz. Granted, choosing a bus for prom may have given me an ulcer, but high school wasn't all that bad. So to reclaim all the time in college that I've wasted doing homework and neglecting my XBox, I am really just going to sit in my bed for a week and not do anything at all. I mean I'll get up to go to the bathroom, get stuff to eat, and go to parties, but that's it. If I even have to look at a book, it's gonna be the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit magazine that, for some weird reason, I haven't been able to read in my dorm...(thanks, Matt). But what I'm really gettting at is that I need to relax, free my mind up, and resubsribe to some old sites(thanks, Matt, again). I hope you catch my meaning.
P.S. Matt is my roomate...who never leaves.

3. Start a cockfighting professional circuit
Okay, this has to be by far my best idea. I'd put it at number one, but I jsut thought of it and I don't want to forget it. So, I'll pretend its the third best thing. Anyway, how awesome would this be? Really freakin' awesome. I'm sure if I put an ad out on Craig's List that I could get at least one, maybe two people to come over. And it starts from there. From what I've heard, cockfighting is a word of mouth industry. Sooner or later I may jsut have to rent out an abandoned wearehouse to peddle my craft. Of course, the point here is to make money. Killing chickens is pretty fucked up. But if worse comes to worse, the cops find out and I get a fine. Still, that's not gonna happen. People may ask, where am I going to get all these chickens. My response, BYOC.

2. Doing every Where's Waldo Book
This has been a long time coming, ever since I was a boy. Finally, when I find that bastard and his gay Wizard friend in all of their hiding spots, I will have completed a childhood dream. "Hey, Jordan, do you know where Waldo is?" "Pseesh, yeah. Check out behind the treehouse." Of course, if I could somehow turn this into a party trick or something uselful, then this might actuall be worth doing. When I see a Where's Waldo book I can just say, "Yes."

1. Edit really obscure Wikipedia articles and see if people notice
How many term papers will this mess up?

So, that's my list. Of course, I may not do any of those things, except for finding Waldo. But that isn't the point. The point here is that, well, I guess there isn't one. I jsut put a whole bunch of random things in a semi-coherent list and hoped it was funny. So, that's the point, then.