Compass Directions

I think that compass directions are all a big conspiracy. Never in my life have I been going down a highway and actually known which direction I've been going. I'm like the guy in City Slickers who thinks that when you go up a mountain you are going north. Anyway, it's a big conspiracy because every time I get directions people always name drop words like west and east. I think they make it up. They might be like Indian trackers or something because I cannot determine which direction I am facing without a compass...and I don't even know how to use that.