These are rules for girls about their behavior when watching porn with your boyfriend. By reading this, I assume that you have already decided that you are cool watching with him and that nothing could possible go wrong. I want you to admit that's a huge lie. Girls get upset of small things such as toilet seats and missing birthdays. You might think it's fun but the real reason you are watching is to spy on your man and see what it is about you he doesn't like (tell me I'm wrong). But men are simple and combining sex with, well, sex doesn't seem like a bad idea. But since you agree to watch you have to follow some rules because your man doesn't know this is a trick and that's not fair. So, make your judgments, but keep them to yourselves; and follow these rules.
1. Don't ask us how on earth we can think that girl with the huge boobs is so attractive.
Men like boobs and she has a loot of boobage going on. End of story. I'm sorry that this makes you feel insecure in that area under your boobs (your heart). But if we cared about your heart more than your boobs, God would have put the boobs in the back.
2. Don't complain when we don't want to watch a scene with a guy in it.
I don't want you eying the star's wang, or the stunt cock for that matter. Me watching girls is different than you watching guys. You know this is true. Men are visual so we like porn. But girls are not and girls like people on a different level. Getting turned on to a guy is a lot more deep for woman so we don't want that. So shut up and watch Horny Lesbian School Teachers 19. Of course, they all went downhill after Jenna Jameson retired...
3. You are not allowed to ask if we saw this before and subsequently make fun of our extensive porn collection
Every single guy has porn. That is a definite. Your dad, your best guy friend, even your minister has porn (whether that porn is legal or moral is another question). If you want to watch our porn, then you have to realize that we have a lot of it. And yes, we are gonna watch something we like and probably have seen before so there are no twists. We don't want any shannagins happening that we don't know about. We don't want a goat showing up in the video or some midgets...most of the time
4. Don't talk to us during the porn
Yeah the story line sucks but it's a fantasy. Stop ruining the suspension of disbelief. All guys want to think that the girl he is selling his house to or the cop about to arrest him wants to have sex. We know it's not the truth but let us believe it. We lie to you and say you look nice all the time.
5. If I want to take over manual control (of my penis), then you sit there while I just watch without your help
You can pretend you are in the scene or make yourself useful and get some food. I just remembered how awesome this scene is and I'd rather take the lead from here.
Disclaimer: Kim, some guy hacked into my site and wrote this. I have nothing to do with this.
